itunes; bang 9 - re-con

status - offline

chatting - currently no-one

mood - read below

BOREDOM

just looking at that darn word makes me feel so dull and lifeless!
life for me right now consists of absofuckly nothing. talk about been stuck in a black and white world, i no longer feel happy or surreal. i want to do something new; i need somthing to spontaneously occurr and excite me again, something that would at least get my heart racing or lift me off the edge of my seat - anything will do! bloody oath...

as i sit here listening to my softcock playlist, it dwardles on me how many of my close friends have been so caught up in the four letter word! it many cases it has caused all of us so much pain and suffering yet has signified happiness and provided people with such a fond heart.
my mum once told me that it's rare to find true l.o.v.e at this stage but really....is it that difficult? i actaully agree, i mean we still have the whole world to see and pretty young to be 100 percent committed. but then again it's pretty ironic coming from me considering i thought i'd experienced it before ...wait thought? i mean i did.

it was just yesterday when we last met. not surprising, considering we somehow come across eachother practically everyday. im so indecisive, i don't know how i want to interpret these feelings anymore.
i like you...but then again, i don't like you? i want you...but then again, i don't need you?
i can't see us ever been together...but then again, the thought of you with someone else is unbearable. how do all these work out? what in the hell am i supposed to feel towards you then? *sighs* i don't want to further contemplate on this because then it would'nt be my own personal problem..

on another note, i was just a tad brief with my last entry but no worries, i'm back to blogging now!
2006 started off with a mighty heck of a BANG and a KABOOM mixed with a EEEKKK!
started off the day with an invite to tina's bbq but really only ended up hiding in the premises of her room watching movies and having chit chats with the girls and matt. after met up with others at city and viewed the fireworks which looked quite similiar to any other year..although i must add i was intrigued with the love-hearted fireworks! hor hor hor...



i know, those pictures look quite unspectacular but i was too busy running around screaming and hugging everyone...LOL
as planned, we all headed off to esh tom's after the fireworks and had the most memorable night i suppose. talk about those bitchfests! i never knew boys had so much to say! ROFLMAO
but then i'll remember all those meaningful and deep conversations we had and i guess it hit all of us that we are so priviledged to have such a close bond with eachother. we all stayed up talking and talking and no-one slept that night..or should i say no-one slept at all!

arrived home at 11 in the morning with a not much needed welcoming from my relatives. i was then forced to go on a family outing at my family friend's beach house and holy moly it was freaking 40 something degrees! the car trip was horrible and i felt like i was going to dehydrate. it was way too hot to have fun and games so i practically spent the whole day enclosed in the mansion sitting under the air conditioner. oh yer the house was bloody massive! it was three storeys and located right on the beach..they even owned their own boat, canoe, yacht...you name it!
the next day i had to attend another family dinner and it was nice to see all my little distant cousins and relatives whom i hadn't talked to in yonkasville!

and for the last four days? i have been sleeping, eating and lazing around! these holidays have been killing me...i should be spening it more productively before i hit the books agains but then there's nothing to do? i'm so going to regret this later on ..

oh dear me 4 more weeks will susan returns! where are you right now? i think you should in london? or are you on the way to vietnam already? well wherever you are im thinking of you! . miss you heaps darls! when i'm feelin down, i have no-one to call up anymore! when i'm home alone and hungry, your not there to call out anymore! when i want to sleep and nap in another house, your not here to provide me that anymore! LOL. i have so much on my mind which i need to empty out but i have to wait till you get your ass back on kangaroo-land!

anyways enough from me, i think i'm going to go sit my ass on my couch and watch some television. parents going to a wedding tonight meaning i got the whole house to myself...o0oolala.

[edit] apologies out for not been able to make it to both gordan and lil jay's birthday bash. sorry i just wasn't up for any partying and my mood atm doesn't make it any better, but i'm certain you's are having fun! hmmm...i need serious help. i'm so bored, me and tom agree we should invest in buying a poker set to kill our boredom! *sighz* [/edit]