itunes; open your eyes - dougal & gammer feat. lisa marie

status - online
chatting - melynda
mood - hmmm..

i know i've got piles of homework to accomplish, but stuff it. writing is my release, whether or not i'm in the mood, its something i can always depend on, to cherish. well here goes my first hypocritical entry..

"i hate love"

strong statement i've just imposed, not saying i agree with it but unfortunatly there are many people out there who would most likely raise their hands, finding themselves constantly caught in the crushing tides of a fast moving current. since when did it become such a necessicity to fall in love? it's been planted so deep into our ethics as the only means to a wholesome life. i guess its something that never ceases to astound me.

the stories i hear, the very little experinces i've encountered have left me to conclude that relationships begin nonetheless the same - you get to know someone, anticipation builds, life starts becoming all exciting and fun, you fall for eachother and yadi yadi ya. it's always the endings that vary - relationships over, the book slowly closes and you find yourself starting over and over again...hmm if love was a book, i rekon i wouldn't even pass the first chapter, let alone the first page. LOL

this might sound pretty contradicting coming from me but i've defeintly learnt a valuable lesson today.

you can like someone, but sometimes it's never enough to keep a relationship going.

if there isn't any fuel in the relationship to keep it running, it's pointless. the relationship becomes scarce and no longer runs on its own - your pushing it both physically and emotionally.

nothing lasts forever, everything fades with time. more so looks not personality, but eventually both start to deteriate. in the end, were all ultimately seeking for satisfaction. i am not implying anything in particular but staisfaction comes in all shapes and sizes, it is defined differently varying with the person.

there's only so much one can do with a single opinion - i don't hate love, i live for love. my final concept is that maybe i'm the one with the problem, i'm all controversy that's all. LMAO. from each relationship, very few reach a peak of wisdom and maturity. no matter how adult we think we are [ like me. LOL] , there will always be obstacles, heartbreaks, betrayals that lay ahead of us..but then again its through these risks that we grow and develop...and im prepared to do so.

okay my tendency to constanly bring this topic up proberly has brought an annoyance to readers but tough luck! LOL. neways enough of that bluff and on with the life of janie! bahaha..well today's lessons were alright i suppose, E.T chasing melynda today at sport? ROFLMAO you poor girl! you got germs now. weekends were quite eventful, saturday celebrating tina's birthday at phoenix. sunday was spent wisely at state library studying with chris and holy moly had my first ever expericience riding on a motorbike! BAHAAHA, issent that so darn exciting. xD

neways i better stop right now before i start blabbering on about something more pointless. LOL. oh yer before i go..

HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY TINA!!

and btw..our evil trio [ me, melynda and susan] have finally combined and formed a new born baby! www.team.newgen.blogspot.com

but dun worry i'm not going to abandon this blog. xD

itunes; artwork - art of fighters

status - online
mood - ulcers kill!!
chatting - tony.aaron.

no maths excercises? no researching required? no writing essays? YES YES YESS! first time in what seems like a gazillion years that i've deminished homework. of course the intellilitual human being i am took this foremost opportunity to run around the house doing absofuckly nothing...aww how fabulous does this feel!

entering the school premises i was surrounded with girls doing touch ups here and there, re-applying make-up, fiddling with their hair, practising smiling in the mirror- as you might have guessed, school photos were held today. today to me was like no other day, i didn't even bother fixing myself up this morning although the usual attempts of straightening my hair had failed once again! my hair literally turned into a furball by the end of recess..but howdy do i don't care cause seriously..IT'S JUST PHOTOS! xD

senior life for me has tuned down abit, not so much of a crazed-fest anymore i guess. i'm trying the best i can (well maybe i could do just a little better) at keeping up with the pace and organising myself, but sometimes i feel like i need more motivation. we've entered the fourth week of school and looking at my assesment calender i received the other day, i think i need to book a few appointments with the nearest therapist. LOL. i am so not looking forward to term 2, the number of oncoming assesments are overwhelming...can i cope with the stress? sometimes i wished i was in yr 7/8 again, where i could just pick up a pen and paper and be so carefree...aww the good old years. looking at all the juniors today make me feel so jealous, but then again the respect of younger students looking up to you is pretty hecticalectic. LOL

"there's never a rite time to say goodbye"...hmm reading susan's nickname has left me pondering whether or not there really is a right time to 'get over' someone, or should i say 'move on'. to me getting over someone is plainly a period of time when we mourn over the loss of a departed loved one where friends offer comfort and begin reassuring eachother that we'll 'get over' it. on the other hand again there's the 'moving on' situation, something i believe is rather completely different. moving on is not simply throwing the relationship out of the window and forgetting all memories, it's leaving behind the amazing and fond moments and preparing to have more with someone new.

to me it's impossible for anyone to be completely over someone because if you were to say that, it just plainly means that eevrything you shared amounted to nothing in the end and that you've learnt nothing from the relationship. if you were to reminsce about your ex-boyfriend and past ones, your NOT over him. yes it might leave you feeling guilty and messed but it's just the way it is...it's in our nature. i sometimes can't help but re-analysis certain aspects of my past - if we didn't have that stupid fight, would we still be together? if i did this instead of that, would things be different today? sometimes i even find myself reliving situations and thinking to myself - if i didn't to this, then that wouldn't have happened..

if you too find yourself in these certain situations, maybe we people haven't 'moved on' properly and haven't 'gotten over' that past relationship.

it's difficult to move on when we're still not over it.

itunes; save me- darren styles

status - away
chatting - no-one
mood - sleepy

PROPHECY WAS MOTHERFUKING OFF THE ROOF!

i had the most fantabulous time and for you's who missed out...SUK SHIT!

omg i just typed a full entry and it deleted, so i'm gonna stick with writing in pointform, I'M SO PISSED OFF! *clenches fist* neways the day started off working for my mum in the most ridiculous and hideous weather! felt like i was roasting in an oven and mind you i was enduring much suffering. LOL. got home and dressed up, WAS meant to be an angel for the night but plans changed in the last minute cause i knew the wings would become a total nuisance! LOL. danie came over, got a lift to the station then met up with others...la di das...weather got even more RICICULOUS, the minute we stepped outside the train it started pouring. CURSE you stupid rain! ended up bolthing to the showground and by the time we arrived, everyone was drenched..my poor straightned hair was frizzy and leg-warmers covered in eeky mud. >.<

got in then yadi yadi ya...

highlights of the night?

• all my nonsensical and peculiar conversations i encountered! AHAHAHA..i feel oh so sorry for those who had to tolerate me, i keep getting frequent flashbacks of the silly things i've said and omg *stabs marhsmallows x1000000!* AHAHAHA..
• losing about 940275826538683 kilojuoules running aound the arena all night. LOL
• listenin to re-con and styles sing! RIGHT HERE RIGHT NOW!! awwww baby xD
• producing about a GAZLLION litres of sweat. i have never ever sweated so much in my life, poor melynda's sweatband couldn't absorb anymore so mr.eric's shirt was my towel for the night. AHAHA
• walking around half the night completely nigelated and lost, don't YOU call me aloser aiight? LOL
• got to touch the sexy dragon! xD
• my little feud with 'that' aussie candy raver. LMAO. long story cut short..she was just a plain evil stinky ass BITACH!
• was meant to go on one of the rides with eric but got turned off when someone vomitted.=[
• hmm, im sure there's plenty more but i'm currently blank atm..

neways here's some photos, there's not much considering i was too lazy to take much but ENJOY! sorry if this entry sounded real brief but darn my other entry SOUNDED MUCH BETTER *cries a pacific river*

**

where do we go from here...

itunes; turned off

status - offline
chatting -
mood - extreemly tired

it's that time of the year again...motherfucker

VALENTINES = SELF PITY DAY

AHAHAHA, oh well thank god for susan... love u babes !! <33

itunes; play (remix) - david banner ft. ying yang twins

status - away
chatting - susan
mood - tiired

i guess it's been a while since my last entry, poor blog seems to be dying due to my lack of so called dedication. but have no fear, cause janie is here! *gives CPR*

neways the past few days have been a blast, minus the horrible ever-changing weather. workload has been a killer, early mornings have been torturious, late nights have been unbearable...how bloody FANTABULOUS! in the other hand school has been treating me well, i love it, i love it! xD

workload has pretty much been mounting to the extent where i've completely lost my social life. can't complain though, hsc is drawing closer so i better start getting my act together, all in, all out, it's all practise for the real thing. wow can't believe only three terms away from reaching top notch. looking forward to it girls, going to be spending my last schooling years with my TEAM NEWGENS+FABINCERS! bahaha janie shall study hard, stay focused and SUCEED..that's what i'm going to do!

two more days till valentines day. errr, why am i even counting down the days? i think i'd rather run to my own little corner and hide..LOL

six more days till utopia. WOOOHOO, now were talking!! finally purchased a ticket and i gottah say i'm pretty much gee'd up. finally going to give my brain a little relaxation from the over-piling work. i have an idea of what i'm going to wear but not 100% certain yet, BAHAHA i can't wait!

anyways i'm going to make this nice and short, better chuck a early niter cause i have to wake up extra early tomorrow morning. *cries*

here i go again...

itunes; how we roll -dame

status - away
chatting - no-one
mood - confused?

unfortunatly blogging has become less frequent due to the excessive homework i have apprehended over the past few days. these nights i have found myself confided in my room summarising, analysing, writing essays, completing excercises, researching answers... freaking hell, like say goodbye to my freaking social life! LOL. btw, i have migrated to bankstown girls high and to settle things straight, we are not sluts behind bars aiight? LOL

today was the third day of year 11 and it feels like i've made the right decision to spend my last senior years at bankstown. i'm extremely happy with my subject selections, the teachers are very nice and not to mention the friends i've met are very friendly and welcoming indeed. thank you very much girls for making it so easy to settle in. i'm practically in every class of susan's [ unfortunaly. LOL], besides english which makes it even more better! melyndas in one of my classes, but i have to warn you girls that i can sometimes be a big distraction because i seriously don't stop talking sometimes. ROFL.

the downside though is two times a week i have to attend maths classes at 7:45am..oh the torture of waking up extra extra early just to catch the train in the cold mornings. it takes approximately 20 minutes to walk to marrickville station from my house, then another 20 minute ride so i have to wake up at 6am! can you just imagine what i look like every morning? just ask susan..yes yes, i look quite frightening i know. BAHAHA. it's not so bad on other mornings thankfully cause i catch the same train as trung and jenifa so have no fear! xD

hmm this is the first school i've ever attended that isn't co-ed and it feels quite the same, but i have to admit it's beneficial in a way. no fussing about appearance, no distractions or disturbances in class, no grafitting around school grounds and definelty no witnesses of fighting or flirting. LOL. i'm a little disappointed though i must add seeing as danie hasn't been accepted yet! stupid tempe claimed that both of us had a 'history' together at tempe making it extremely difficult for her to get a proper interview. *cries*

i'm currently pondering on whether i should drop from advance english to standard. i don't know if i'm capable enough to keep up with the workload but i guess i'll just have to wait and see..neways other subjects i study include:

• 3 unit maths
• chemistry
• legal studies
• business studies
• economics

did i mention that school is like so bloody cool! xD

neways tomorrow my plans are to visit cabramatta with susan to get her much needed haircut, so looking forward to eating yummy porkrolls! *licks lips*. i don't think if we'll bother going to warrick farm cause were stuck with so much homework but we'll just have to see.

i'm lost, i'm confused, i seriously don't know waht to do or believe anymore ...